The addicts mind is a peculiar place to visit and analyze. As a recovering addict I can find the gyrations of my thinking to be disturbing, humorous, pathetic, heroic and undeniably real.
The mind of a porn addict has its own gravitational force that makes it swing around the sun of lust on a consistent basis.
That kinda makes sense right there…As the Earth revolves around the Sun, deriving life from its perfectly placed position in a system of planets; so too does the addict receive his own purpose from his place in the continuum of repeated and compulsive behavior.
It is probably more difficult for the poor soul caught in addictions grasp to be free than the Earth to fly out of its orbit. There are mathematical and scientific reasons for both consistencies, Earthly and otherwise. But to put anything into a simplistic formula belies the reality of the many small things that occur which combine to make this true. Day after day, year after year, the Earth moves in a beautiful balance along with other planets around the Sun.
Now, here is where I divert my attention from the heavens (of which I am very unqualified to speak) to the solar system of the addict.
What has gotten us to the point that we unthinkingly do things which no sane person would? Why is it that we run straight into the lions mouth, and don’t consider the consequences of being torn asunder by this powerful animal? How is it that even though we experience elongated times of sobriety, we can find ourselves once again drawn into a vortex of behaviors that can destroy not only ourselves but others.
All good questions, but without satisfactory answers for most.
Enlightenment alone isn’t enough to be victorious.
- I may know the brokenness that causes me to run into danger but that knowledge doesn’t dissolve the shackles.
- I may be able to put terms to the specific maladies that drives what I do, but that isn’t the cure.
- I may have strong religious and spiritual faith, and dedicate many years in study and prayer, but that won’t free me either.
It is funny to me that both science and religion individually think they have the answers when they are both unique parts in achieving the same, sought-after freedom.
I find strength from knowledge and perseverance through faith, and vice versa. In therapy I am helped to understand the forces that drive my acting out, and it is through prayer which I seek the ability to overcome from the ultimate champion. By being accountable I am saying I need help and give myself a chance to be victorious by the power of unity against a common foe.
The complications that arise in a fight against addictive behavior can be overwhelming at times, I know this to be true. There are moments in which I can clearly envision the tactics of an invisible enemy and the relentless nature of evil and I am discouraged and my faith is challenged. But isn’t it amazing when on the heels of defeat we see a glorious hope arise over the horizon.
It is extremely encouraging to see the momentary victories over addiction turn into an unbroken string of daily, weekly and monthly victories; dare I even say years of victory?!?
Yes, it is possible, and it begins with today. Learn, grow, worship, gain knowledge, partner with others, pray and meditate; do all these things to win. Do whatever it takes. Don’t forsake the wisdom of science, the knowledge found in therapy, or the strength of faith; but instead embrace them all in your fight for freedom.
Have a blessed day!